“If I show up at your door, chances are you did something to bring me there.” – Martin Blank, Grosse Pointe Blanke
Usually these ‘Don’t Be That Guy’ blogs are written as a response to someone we come across in our networking group, or that send us a ridiculous email, or simply need to be de-pantsed. This time, I was set off from a Change.org petition I stumbled across…
This Florida woman wants Toys ‘r Us to ban sales of all Breaking Bad action figures from their stores. You might be thinking, “Well, that’s logical, I mean, he’s a meth dealer, it comes with meth, I don’t want my kids doing meth, so yea, ban it!”
…and from this petition, every “press” company from left to right are writing stories about it, followed by thousands of social media responses from people saying how outraged and angry they are that Toys ‘R Us would sell a meth dealer doll! How dare they! I’m sooo annngreeee!
So let’s bring this into perspective, shall we?
- Your child shouldn’t even know what ‘Breaking Bad’ is.
- Your child shouldn’t even know what meth is.
- And if your child does know by some chance, you should be educating the living hell out of them in regards to what is does to you and in essence ruins your life.
- Your child should have no interest whatsoever in purchasing a doll of a 50-year old man with a Member’s Only jacket and a goatee to begin with.
- You shouldn’t be buying said doll for your child and/or allowing them to own said doll if they bought it on their own.
With that said, you buy your child a Darth Vader doll without a second thought. He just killed several innocent women and children in retaliation of his mother’s death, killed several younglings hoping to become Jedi, and blew up an entire planet and its population, before cutting off his own son’s hand.
Yeah, great role model.
Or you might buy them little plastic army figures, fashioned with mortars and bazookas. Perhaps a GI Joe doll, equipped with a crossbow or a rifle? A Ninja Turtle with a sword? Or maybe you will buy them GTA V where you can steal cars, kill cops and murder prostitutes. Hell, you sell Godzilla and he basically flattened Tokyo for crying out loud. Oh, and you can buy the Governor from Walking Dead who collected human heads in jars.
Look at the list of the boy’s action figures they sell if you don’t believe me.
But no, the 50-year old with the Member’s only jacket and goatee offends you to the point of starting a petition and running to the press.
So why would Toys ‘R Us have the doll to begin with you may be asking yourself?
Well, maybe the child’s father loves the show and wants to put the doll on his desk. Yes, 40-year old men buy dolls. Take my desk for example.
Do you think my child knows, let alone asks about Bluto from Animal House? Or Kenny Powers? Or Ric Flair? Or the beer cans? No, do you want to know why? Because I don’t make a big deal out of it, and I sure as hell don’t explain to them what they do or represent.
Why? Because I would like to think I am a rational enough human being to spare my outrage for things that truly matter in this world…because you know what happened to the boy that cried wolf.
Until next time…
…go read something else.