“If I show up at your door, chances are you did something to bring me there.” – Martin Blank, Grosse Pointe Blanke
“You’ve just been erased” – John (Arnold Schwarzenegger), The Eraser
Here’s a great way to piss us off – ask us to do you a favor, and then yell and scream at us about it.
We’ve been doing our thing since 2001. We’ve been running our live broadcasts for well over a year. We have our audience. You know we have our audience. And so you bugged us and nagged us for freaking ever to come on our show to help get the word out about your company. It’s not like you were a newbie, either – we’ve known you for years. You know who we are, how we act and react to things…we’ve downed more than one scotch and smoked more than a single cigar with you over the years.
So on what planet does it make sense that you force us to vanish you…
As people roll through our archive of past shows, every now and then we get a note asking why one of our shows is shorter than the others. And not by a little bit, either…it’s really short. Our average show length…once I edit to get rid of the music breaks and clean things up a bit…is usually around an hour and forty minutes long. But there’s one out there that’s just barely an hour.
It’s because we had to erase someone.
See, when you nag and beg us to come on the air, and then as soon as we’re all back in our cars and going our separate ways you call one of us up and start yelling and screaming about how you just talked to your web guy and you didn’t get any traffic from being on the show and how it was suddenly such a negative experience and you don’t understand why someone doesn’t sue us…
Sue? Us? Oh, okay Skippy. Now you have our full attention.
And then, with just a few questions, you admit that no, you didn’t read the calendar invite we shot you. You know, the one where we tell you that we don’t really get many live listeners because all of our listeners come after the fact through syndication? Yeah, that one. That you didn’t read. That would have told you everything you needed to know walking in.
But you didn’t, and instead of asking, you turned into a belligerent, arrogant prick with a shouting problem.
So we erased you. You don’t exist. Every mention of your name. Everything you said. Every mention of your company.
Erased. You were never there.
LinkedIn group? Erased. You don’t need to be a part of what we do.
Linkedin connection? Erased. We don’t need you around professionally.
Facebook? Erased. We don’t want you around personally now, either.
And oh, the laughs we had when we found out you tried talking smack about us with someone who you didn’t know had been on our show. Especially the part when you heard about the business they got from being a part of our show, and how you stormed away in a huff.
That was awesome. We really enjoyed that, so thanks for the laugh. For your own sake, don’t let us hear about you talking about us again. Ever.
But you’re still erased.
And you’re very much That Guy, too.
That’s all for this time…go read something else.