Don’t Be That Guy: The Free Beer Isn’t Cold Enough

“If I show up at your door, chances are you did something to bring me there.” – Martin Blank, Grosse Pointe Blank.

“Gee, we’re really sorry the free beer isn’t cold enough” – Us, unfortunately far too regularly

Let’s lay some groundwork here.

The three of us that run this group have jobs, lives, families, and a whole host of outside interests.  We’re actual people, believe it or not.

But we run this group, handle getting the events setup, coordinate the insane Pink Slip Party gatherings, leave home every Monday night and head downtown to do the IT in the D broadcasts, take time off of work to go speak at places like Shifting Gears…

…we do that all in what we laughingly call our “free time”.

So you’ll have to excuse us for having something of a hair-trigger and we go flying off the handle when someone complains that the free beer isn’t cold enough…

 “The little lights… they aren’t twinkling Clark.” – Art

dbtgfb1That’s how we feel sometimes. We get up at the butt crack of dawn, dig out the huge box of Christmas lights, untangle a ball the size of sasquatch’s head, fall off a ladder from the 2nd story, cover every square inch of our house with lights…working tirelessly for days while the family is inside the house enjoying their coffee and naps…

And then we stand back and marvel…250 Strands of light…100 individual bulbs per strand…. for a grand total of 25,000 imported Italian twinkle lights!

Everyone comes outside for 10 seconds and we have to hear that the little lights aren’t twinkling.

No we get it, we really do, and we are sorry the free beer wasn’t cold enough for you Art.

See Art goes to free networking events, at cool places, and meets a dozen recruiters that want to hire him, has great conversations with peers and has a great meal. But you see, Art was slightly inconvenienced because the parking situation at this particular establishment wasn’t perfect. Actually it wasn’t great at all.

But then Art goes on social media and decides to throw us under the bus for picking a place that didn’t suit his parking needs.

No, we get it Art and we are sorry our free service inconvenienced you slightly. Next time, we will make sure that you have valet, that there are at least 2 people with umbrellas to walk you to the front door, and low and behold, we will even get the Sherriff, armed with a 12-guage, to ensure your safety if the lot isn’t lit.

[This is me saying “Really? Really”?]

dbtgfb2See, I’ve never understand the Facebook complainers either. It is a free service. You don’t have to use it. At the end of the day, it is a pretty powerful tool if used properly. And did I mention it’s free?

And low and behold, every two years when they make layout changes, you would think that someone turned their front door of their house backwards.

At the end of the day, we wouldn’t change a thing about our group. We love the people who are regular fixtures. We love new faces. We love hearing about success stories. We love getting together for no reason other than to have a drink with like-minded people. And we love promoting places we like and Detroit.

Or, as Dave put it in his ranting “A Few Good Men” tone…

“Son, we live in a world that has a problem where people can’t make connections and find jobs, and those connections and jobs have to be facilitated by someone who actually gives a damn.

Who’s gonna do it? You?
 
I have a greater pain in the ass than you could possibly fathom. You rail about Falling Down Beer Company, and you curse the parking lot. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not dealing with the crap I deal with and knowing what I know. That the parking lot at Falling Down, while dark in spots, probably helped a few people find jobs that night. And my existence, while silly and nonsensical to you, helps facilitate those things.
 
You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you *want* me holding these events, you *need* me holding these events. We use words like “networking”, “connections” and “Don’t Be That Guy”. We use these words as the backbone of a ridiculous amount of time spent building something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who reads and posts under the blanket of the very networking opportunities that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you free up some time, and start running a group of your own. Either way, I don’t give a damn.”

We’re just asking, no actually begging, that you don’t be that guy. Don’t be Art. Until next time…